Time flies, and it’s time for birthdays again. I don’t remember when it started. Every birthday, I no longer cheer and look forward to every birthday like I was when I was a child.Compared to a birthday party where relatives and friends sit around, eat and drink, I would rather choose to read a book quietly on my birthday, or go to the temple to worship Buddha, or just sit by the window, looking at the sky and watching the clouds floating in the sky change in various shapes, which is also good.Because in this reincarnation, apart from proclaiming that one step closer to death, it is really boring, and I don’t understand what is worth celebrating.
This feeling became even stronger after my father passed away suddenly.I even deliberately avoid my birthday.Because my birthday is also the day when my mother suffers, it always reminds me of my parents who gave birth to me.Whenever I remember my father, it always makes me feel heartbroken.Because my father's sudden death was not only the end of his own life, but also took away almost all my hope and courage in life.I really don’t know what kind of situation my life would face if I had not met the Three Jewels when my father passed away.
I, who was not very experienced in the world, stumbled and walked in the quagmire of life for a short time, but I was covered in scars on my body and heart. Every time I moved, a wound would be torn and painful.So, physically and mentally exhausted, I came to the temple to "hide from the tranquility" and walked into the West Garden.Far from afar, in the crowd, I recognized the figure of the instructor, elegant and at ease, steady and calm.I told myself that I want to be like this, too.
With such a belief, I joined the third level of practice.As I deepened my practice, my instructor's French gradually flowed into my dry heart like nectar.The instructor always uses the simplest language to wisely explain the profound Dharma clearly and clearly.Whenever I use correct views to resolve the trivial problems in life that were previously troubled by people in my life, I was surprised to find that these problems could not be troubled by them.So, I was even more impressed by the wisdom of Buddhism and told myself that I would become the same person as my teacher.
After initially using the wisdom of Buddhism to easily solve those "headache" problems in life, I began to use the wisdom of Buddhism to solve my own injuries that are full of my heart.When I first started to heal my wounds, it seemed like a sluice that had not been opened for a long time. My emotions were like a surging flood, flooding and never retreating for a long time.At that time, under the impact of this powerful flood, I didn’t realize that this was my own problem, but I just felt that all of this was caused by others and was an external reason.At this time, I realized that the so-called Dharma principles I usually use did not take root in my heart, and I could not raise my mindfulness at all when facing the object.If the Three Refuges of the Instructor had not been with him, I really couldn't imagine what would have been like this emotional flood.
After experiencing this emotional "flood", I carefully polished my "weapon" according to the requirements of the Eighteen-character policy. Only then did I realize that the "weapon" handed over to me from the beginning was really useful.But I have always foolishly regarded this treasure as a "baby" and couldn't bear to use it. So when the enemy came, I still went into battle unarmed, and the result was conceivable.
The teacher said that taking refuge is the foundation of Buddhism, and making aspiration is the foundation of practice.Faced with this huge ice in my heart, I think we should start by practicing refuge and making a wish.Therefore, I insist on doing the conversion course every day, although I sometimes slacken in my mind, and I don’t persist for a few days, or the quality is not high when I do it.But one thing is obvious, that is, as long as I do not practice refuge, the distraction and impure state of my mind will make me feel uncomfortable all over, and this discomfort will be cured immediately after practicing refuge.After a few times of this, I didn't dare to be careless for a day.
In addition to practicing refuge, of course, I also follow the teacher’s words, carefully study and think about the Dharma, and do some volunteer practices within my ability.It seems that my life seems to be full of sunshine every day, positive every day, and happy every day.However, only I know that the huge ice in my heart is still there, and from time to time, it will instantly turn my world from color to gray.Every time at this time, the Three Refuges are filled with charge and sunshine again.
Why are the Three Refuges so magical?I think on the one hand, it is because I always have confidence in the Three Treasures.No matter what bad situation I encounter in my life, I have never lost my faith in the Three Jewels. On the contrary, my faith in the Three Jewels will only increase and not decrease due to each objection.At the same time, no matter what situation I encounter in my life, my confidence in my mentor will only increase and not decrease.The reason is simple: because of these situations that make me feel headache and overwhelmed, in the eyes of the mentor, his way of dealing with them is always so skillful, so wise, and so perfect without hurting any sentient beings.
In addition, more importantly, the more I practice refuge, the more I can understand what the real power of the Three Jewels is.The power of the Three Jewels is definitely not the so-called "supernatural power" I thought when I first studied Buddhism - it is full of mystery and is used to deal with "bad people".Before I joined the third level of practice, I mistakenly thought that taking refuge in the Three Jewels was like wearing an invincible "armor". With this, I would no longer be afraid of any harm.
Speaking of the power of the Three Jewels, the scene where the tutor lights always appears in my mind.After this year's lantern teaching ceremony in the retreat camp, the "You are the lantern I hold in the palm of my hand" posted on the academy's Weibo made me cry.yes!In the eyes of the teacher, every sentient being is equal.The teacher is the same kindness when dealing with every sentient being.
This love is completely different from the love in the world. It is strong and hot. The closer it gets, the more you feel a sense of coolness and freedom. This love will not cause you any harm.This love is so pure and flawless. Whenever I remember it, I want to integrate myself wholeheartedly to cleanse the dust of this body.This love is so wide, deeper than the sea and wider than the blue sky. In the face of this vastness, the self seems so small and insignificant.
Looking at the lotus lantern held by the teacher in his hand, in a trance, I felt that this light was transmitted from the Buddha's hand that was more than 2,500 years ago, carrying the love of the Buddha and the ancestors of all generations for sentient beings. It was so bright that it was enough to dispel the endless darkness for sentient beings.
This love from the Three Jewels allows me to see clearly the indifference and selfishness in my life, and also allows me to see clearly the so-called "harm". From the perspective of karma, it is actually the result of my own self-inflicted.This love from the Three Jewels also made me see clearly that my life has been polluted under the influence of ignorance, greed, anger and ignorance, and needs to be cleaned up urgently.
I think my life is destined to bloom a red lotus that will never wither.Then, those past experiences, whether pleasant or unpleasant, are the soil, moisture and air required for the blooming of this lotus, and are indispensable nutrients.Thinking of this, I suddenly felt a warm current passing through my heart. Where the warm current passed, the huge piece of ice was slowly melting.
This love from the Three Treasures makes me love life and love life more.How precious this leisurely and fulfilling human body is, carrying endless love from the Three Jewels, parents, fellow practitioners and sentient beings. Therefore, I want to move forward more courageously and diligently on this Bodhi path and become a person like a teacher, which is my goal and direction.
This goal is definitely worth my whole life to achieve. Therefore, every birthday on the path to liberation is so meaningful, because this day can be used to check and examine myself, with the purpose of moving forward better and more steadily.Since my life has accepted endless love, it is natural to give back, and I think there is nothing more worthy of my life to accomplish with my life in the future.
